Day 21

I remember

I remember mom sitting. Always sitting. She wasn't an active person which probably helped her though life because she discovered in her 50's that she had a dangerous congenital heart issue which could have killed her had she been over exerted. Thankfully, she never reached that point. Ok

She sat at her kitchen table. It was a bar height table and comfy chair. She would be puttering around online, checking emails or reading MSN news. Playing fake slots or solitaire. I remember being frustrated because at least every other week she had a computer issue. She would start "Lisa can you ele me ..." And I'd either laugh easily and say "what now" or if it had been a long day, give her a tight smile and say "sure thing". I fought hard to not make her feel like an old timer dated person who was well beyond computers or technology. She was, a little bit, but she did manage Facebook and kept in touch with everyone on there and via email. She was progressive!

She sat on the outdoor cushioned chair on her porch. I hated her smoking there She had agreed to smoke only outside of the house. Over the 7 years she lived with us she went through various incarnations of trying to stop smoking. The last time, I felt so delicate about the topic because invariably she got defensive and I got angry. But her body told her to quit and she did - magically. Too late. But still . The other weekend I scrubbed her porch. Washed down the siding and the Windows . Notwa wanting that enormously distasteful smoke odor to appear. Kinda half hoping it would.

I also remember her sitting on the porch waiting for Maddie to come home from school. they bonded so tightly and I also recall our many talks had sitting outside in the gorgeous weather. And mom's red long down coat which made her look like a Michelin man but that I got for her to keep her warm. Even though she was smoking, I still wanted to keep her warm. She read voraciously - simple, easy English my steroids. She loved to solve the mystery. Or she also played a ton of her word games. I kept trying to upgrade her to a better tablet, but she was so happy with the danged original kindle.

Mom sitting when I was little at our home, sitting on a chair by herself with either a dish of Breyeers chocolate ice cream in her lap or a handful ofpeanuts she shelled on her own. I never understood the work she put into this.

Mom active Not so much. I told her may times "move it or lose it" and I'm taking that advice myself. When I feel lazy and uninspired, "move it or lose it" comes into my mind and off I go.

I remember Mom sitting around the dining room table playing pinochle with her parents and her sister, aunt Jeanne. Jeanne is the only one still here. I can't imagine the loss she feels.