Changed landscape
You are here and yet not. I began sorting your belongings and then got frozen. I had energy for it and now I don't. I putter a bit but am overwhelmed with the tasks. It's not really emotional distress. I do feel a bit like I'm erasing you. My pain wants me to erase but my love keeps me from doing it.
I see your disease everywhere. Where the hospital bed was. The bottle of cough syrup you would chug. The tootsie rolls and porch chairs and tea mugs. The long red down coat I got you for Christmas so you wouldn't freeze when sitting outside. The red soft bathrobe still hanging in your closet. The clothes in my car for thrift shop that I need to inventory for taxes but there they sit.
Grief is still kicking my ass in ways I don't think I see.
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